Tag Archives: Lost


its three in the morning and my mind falls to you
i’ve been slipping lately, forgetting things, regretting things
and then it happens
i see your face and the world moves to madness
broken glass and lilac blinds
thoughts of the years we spent together
thoughts of the hallway passes, the friendly masses
i hear noises i’ve forgotten
laughter that used to drown the droning dullness of this world
pen and paper games of never even cared
you walk forward, but we never made it there
lyrics of broken melodies
and all we noticed was a strong word
foreign to most, forlorn, a ghost
i spoke it to the night gods
they listened and laughed and lost my number
never cared, and never wondered
i move past the feelings now, i move through the reasons
you’ve passed on, long gone
the years have crumbled around the old place
and i know that there’s nothing left
nothing here
all dust and empty mugs
but i still long to see your face
i walk up the hills where we once met
and i know that there’s nothing there
nothing here
struggle on, is what you said
get it done, is what you said
death and the dull blade of the universe
pester me no more as i walk this world
there’s nothing here
nothing left
we played a game that fell to darkness
and all i wanted was a word
a melody
a song
its been a lifetime since i’ve seen you
why can’t i remember your face
new music and temptation
that’s right
you’re gone


To Know Beauty

close your eyes, and keep them so
she says as she exits the room
i hear the door make a sound i have never heard before
it closes, and a brisk wind dances with the leaves outside
i wait for a few seconds
then minutes
then hours
time crawls through me like a dagger
she is only in the next room
but i know that she is worlds away
my heart slows as i think of her smile
the room draws in and i feel alone for the first time
but the truth cannot be clearer
i have visions of a world without reason
without poise
and then i hear something fall
she laughs as she moves about in the next room
and then there is nothing
no noise
my thoughts grow wings once more
there are children playing outside
three of them i think, with a ball and stick
they laugh as if the world means nothing to them
still, there is no noise
i’ve heard nothing for a few minutes
are you ok in there, i ask as the walls grow silent
an early birthday gift, perhaps
or did her laughter leap towards the bedroom trance
i’m coming to check on you, eyes closed, i promise
the children disappear as my thoughts become focus
then wonder
a smile spreads across my mind
then wonder
chaos floods as i exit the room, but this is me
i call again
i imagine laughter, but there is none
there are boxes, old picture albums, some wrapping paper
i smile as i see her feet, perfectly aligned
then legs
then her thighs
a smile turns to questions
to thoughts of yesterday, and the lies of tomorrow
she sits against the wall
still, alone, amidst happy memories and answered riddles
her eyes, still, in their homes
open and alarmed
a soft harp plays in the background
as if we’ve faded to a better time
she is lifeless, but perfect
i see the gift, unexpectedly
and then another, and then another
she is one, the box, another
and then next to her, a stick, with colour
it is tiny and small, but the greatest gift
she is beautiful, even now
we would have been a great team
i would have been a great husband
she would have been a wondrous goddess
i would be a good father
i would have been a great father
time dulls its blade on my forehead
she laughs, and i stare in confusion
oops, sorry, she says
but close your eyes….and keep them so


we left the homestead in a hurry
the barn was on fire and the gods were at the gate
there was no place for us to go
no hats where we could place our hangers, our heads
all was lost in the blaze
all but our hearts and the rusty cages we kept them in
we fled the valley and ran into another
only to find a loveless gorge of empty eggshells
empty nests and broken bed wells


we lingered in a moonlit yard
the air was calm, inviting
no shadows kept the place, no darkness plagued the stone
our youngest shrieked “Exciting!”
alarmed at her outburst, and at the sight of her soul
she ran into a half burned hovel
crackling and whispering of old misfortunes
we hurried after her, but she was lost
her mind was an anvil, in an ocean time forgot

-keys turn-

we wept and called to her
to the gods that we’d forgotten
we cried to our long lost loved ones

-all quiet in the hall-
-no time for tales of horror-

sleep now young child
be still
I’ll have more fear for you tomorrow