Tag Archives: Children

To Know Beauty

close your eyes, and keep them so
she says as she exits the room
i hear the door make a sound i have never heard before
it closes, and a brisk wind dances with the leaves outside
i wait for a few seconds
then minutes
then hours
time crawls through me like a dagger
she is only in the next room
but i know that she is worlds away
my heart slows as i think of her smile
the room draws in and i feel alone for the first time
but the truth cannot be clearer
i have visions of a world without reason
without poise
and then i hear something fall
she laughs as she moves about in the next room
and then there is nothing
no noise
my thoughts grow wings once more
there are children playing outside
three of them i think, with a ball and stick
they laugh as if the world means nothing to them
still, there is no noise
i’ve heard nothing for a few minutes
are you ok in there, i ask as the walls grow silent
an early birthday gift, perhaps
or did her laughter leap towards the bedroom trance
i’m coming to check on you, eyes closed, i promise
the children disappear as my thoughts become focus
then wonder
a smile spreads across my mind
then wonder
chaos floods as i exit the room, but this is me
i call again
i imagine laughter, but there is none
there are boxes, old picture albums, some wrapping paper
i smile as i see her feet, perfectly aligned
then legs
then her thighs
then
wait
a smile turns to questions
to thoughts of yesterday, and the lies of tomorrow
she sits against the wall
still, alone, amidst happy memories and answered riddles
her eyes, still, in their homes
open and alarmed
a soft harp plays in the background
as if we’ve faded to a better time
she is lifeless, but perfect
i see the gift, unexpectedly
and then another, and then another
she is one, the box, another
and then next to her, a stick, with colour
it is tiny and small, but the greatest gift
she is beautiful, even now
we would have been a great team
i would have been a great husband
she would have been a wondrous goddess
i would be a good father
i would have been a great father
time dulls its blade on my forehead
she laughs, and i stare in confusion
oops, sorry, she says
but close your eyes….and keep them so

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Asylum

we left the homestead in a hurry
the barn was on fire and the gods were at the gate
there was no place for us to go
no hats where we could place our hangers, our heads
all was lost in the blaze
all but our hearts and the rusty cages we kept them in
we fled the valley and ran into another
only to find a loveless gorge of empty eggshells
empty nests and broken bed wells

-footsteps-

we lingered in a moonlit yard
the air was calm, inviting
no shadows kept the place, no darkness plagued the stone
our youngest shrieked “Exciting!”
alarmed at her outburst, and at the sight of her soul
she ran into a half burned hovel
crackling and whispering of old misfortunes
we hurried after her, but she was lost
her mind was an anvil, in an ocean time forgot

-keys turn-

we wept and called to her
to the gods that we’d forgotten
we cried to our long lost loved ones

-all quiet in the hall-
-no time for tales of horror-

sleep now young child
be still
I’ll have more fear for you tomorrow

Empty Inkwell

What writhes in the deep, O sweet beloved
my metronome, and spoken truth
what thoughts cross our paths on a night like this
dementia, and speckled swords of fallen stars
a dark dream follows me, quick to the heart
a hallowed moon, and a haunting memory to pass the time
still words in the dead of night, a still word
four hours until the sun bites the earth i move upon
a dawn of new things
i walk down the street and notice the jars
empty pockets of wealth and remorse
a jar moves into view, then another
in one i find a world unknown, pain
in the other lies the remnants of my youth
red hair appears, running down the brow of the universe
it marks the blood of the ancestor, and the next
the old world and the grateful dead
funny hats and broken bottles
first the house crumbles, then tomorrow
i walk down avenues not meant for my legs
i linger over thoughts of madness
and maddening thought
i walk to the store to buy a few soldiers
death is a luxury, but only when bought