Tag Archives: Children

The Empty Vessel

My life never goes according to plan
I doubt it was ever meant to
I find myself moving to the pulse of a beating heart
It is not mine; it is not yours
Nor the beating of the unborn
It gives me the chills when I think about it
What could have been, were we not meant for ruin
What could have been
If the stars were not meant to burn

At times I find myself flowing from day to day
In a mindless stupor
What are these things that speak to me
In the daylight
Empty arms crossed for broken down motorcycles
Lost along the road to a barren farm
In the twilight
There are no more cigarettes for those that smoke them
No anger
And no more lies for the ones that choke them
No tears for my love, or the stillborn children

I see only sky, in this world of disbelief
Truth take me, for I am a lost cause
My past berates me, in this sullen form that I have become
We drive down roads that make no sense
Forested avenues
To places that charge no rent
To faces that we dare not see, we dare not speak
We dare not live in this time of the meek

And then the mist flows in
We are lost once again to the barren hills of eternity
And all this light fades, because of you
Because of me
The war paint dries and our bodies fall down
Into worlds of ruin and divination
Into a chorus of plastic bags and empty cupboards
Walk with me now, as the world fades around us

Truer words have never been spoken
Like the day we talked for the first time, this time
The pulse quickens, and I find myself reeling
Pain to the ear, the words sting as the end draws near
I come to you in your dreams
Forested avenues appear again
And we are driving to a town we’ve never seen

Dark forms hover over the many graves
Of the men you’ve killed
The hearts I’ve stolen
In them we find our forgotten selves
And no words spoken
No harm done I guess

All I wanted was a token


To Know Beauty

close your eyes, and keep them so
she says as she exits the room
i hear the door make a sound i have never heard before
it closes, and a brisk wind dances with the leaves outside
i wait for a few seconds
then minutes
then hours
time crawls through me like a dagger
she is only in the next room
but i know that she is worlds away
my heart slows as i think of her smile
the room draws in and i feel alone for the first time
but the truth cannot be clearer
i have visions of a world without reason
without poise
and then i hear something fall
she laughs as she moves about in the next room
and then there is nothing
no noise
my thoughts grow wings once more
there are children playing outside
three of them i think, with a ball and stick
they laugh as if the world means nothing to them
still, there is no noise
i’ve heard nothing for a few minutes
are you ok in there, i ask as the walls grow silent
an early birthday gift, perhaps
or did her laughter leap towards the bedroom trance
i’m coming to check on you, eyes closed, i promise
the children disappear as my thoughts become focus
then wonder
a smile spreads across my mind
then wonder
chaos floods as i exit the room, but this is me
i call again
i imagine laughter, but there is none
there are boxes, old picture albums, some wrapping paper
i smile as i see her feet, perfectly aligned
then legs
then her thighs
a smile turns to questions
to thoughts of yesterday, and the lies of tomorrow
she sits against the wall
still, alone, amidst happy memories and answered riddles
her eyes, still, in their homes
open and alarmed
a soft harp plays in the background
as if we’ve faded to a better time
she is lifeless, but perfect
i see the gift, unexpectedly
and then another, and then another
she is one, the box, another
and then next to her, a stick, with colour
it is tiny and small, but the greatest gift
she is beautiful, even now
we would have been a great team
i would have been a great husband
she would have been a wondrous goddess
i would be a good father
i would have been a great father
time dulls its blade on my forehead
she laughs, and i stare in confusion
oops, sorry, she says
but close your eyes….and keep them so


we left the homestead in a hurry
the barn was on fire and the gods were at the gate
there was no place for us to go
no hats where we could place our hangers, our heads
all was lost in the blaze
all but our hearts and the rusty cages we kept them in
we fled the valley and ran into another
only to find a loveless gorge of empty eggshells
empty nests and broken bed wells


we lingered in a moonlit yard
the air was calm, inviting
no shadows kept the place, no darkness plagued the stone
our youngest shrieked “Exciting!”
alarmed at her outburst, and at the sight of her soul
she ran into a half burned hovel
crackling and whispering of old misfortunes
we hurried after her, but she was lost
her mind was an anvil, in an ocean time forgot

-keys turn-

we wept and called to her
to the gods that we’d forgotten
we cried to our long lost loved ones

-all quiet in the hall-
-no time for tales of horror-

sleep now young child
be still
I’ll have more fear for you tomorrow